“Man, your head is haunted; you have wheels in your head! […] You have a fixed idea!” – Max Stirner
It’s been some time that I wanted my anger to be heard. An anger that awaited for its moment, so that it can be ready to be released from within me. If this denunciation won’t bother everyone, it will bother most, if not then it will bother a few. And for many reasons that I won’t analyse!
I have been active in the anarchist / anti-authoritarian milieu in Thessaloniki since September ‘21 and I was not pleased by many things and generally they do not express me. Because, as Renzo Novatore wrote, “I am an individualist because I am an anarchist and I am an anarchist because I am a nihilist.”
Nevertheless, I did not fall into the trap of dogmatism, I did not stop my activity just because most collectives and squats do not represent post-left anarchy, pure negation, direct action and informalism. Whenever and wherever I could, I showed my solidarity in practice, from participating in postering, to taking part in protests, and only out of personal desire because I was tired from complete isolation in Athens.
But some do not appreciate it and worse, they turn against me.
Since the announcement of the plans for the demolition of the Biologica haunt, I wanted to show my solidarity and support in this situation that the squat has come. I knew very well what had happened 9 years ago, but it wasn’t an obstacle in this particular action of mine, because I was not involved in the “civil war” 1 as I did not and will never hold a position in these past events, because nothing will change, as it would be stupid of me to maintain vendettas. I always look at the present, I only study the past when there is something useful for today!
The first open assembly in support of Biologica is announced and took place in SPS 2 . In short, before the assembly began, I was asked by a person (whom I do not know if they are from Biologica or from another collective that is housed in the haunt) to leave because I am not accepted, because I am from the anarchist haunt of Nadir. I respected this request because I had no mood for fights and quarrels. I left SPS and then some comrades (not related to Nadir) left some minutes later dissatisfied by this request.
Sometimes I imagined that it would be more agreeable that day to announce “their request” to all the people who came and to express my criticism against this stupidity which I call vendetta, maintained by people who are young in age, just so that they have to claim something, to claim a feud that we have not experienced and I hope it never happens again. But apparently, today I am expressing this polemic in the form of a text, because they have gone too far.
After a period of time, in the middle of December, the three-day event of Biologica and the protest take place. On the third day of the event there is an event on the refugee issue. My comrade, who is a member of the Utopia AD haunt, wanted to attend it because he is engaged with this issue. I had informed him about the previous incident but I did not want to turn him down, because he came to visit Thessaloniki for just a few days. As we entered the Biologica haunt, I went to the stands with the books and I found 2 particular books that had been sold out and I could not find them in digital form. At that time there wasn’t anyone at the stand to tell me what are the prices so that I can pay and leave quickly. I found an acquaintance from the haunt, that we know each other all these months, and I asked him for the prices of the books and he walked away (as if I had leprosy) telling me that I was putting him in a difficult situation. I was surprised that he told me that and then he asked me to go outside together so that we can discuss. He started telling me the same things I keep hearing from every person who has a hostile attitude towards Nadir. I, of course, did not sit down to analyse what happened 9 years ago because as I say once again, I did not experience those events and I consider whatever happened as wrong, with the biggest loser being Nadir and especially comrade Spyros Mandylas, where both sides at that time had turned against him. I explained that I consider the dogmatism-sectarianism that young people maintain as stupidity, because not only is it stupid but there is no reason to recycle this hatred for events they did not experienced (I think the older people speak to the younger about the civil war the way it suits them, i.e. they do not mention their errors like for example the beating of dogs and the abduction of a girl against Nadir at the time of the “civil war”. But I do not want to write the history of the “civil war”, neither to reveal truths, nor to justify any of the two sides about those events.) As I re-enter Biologica, I waited for a long period of time for a person to tell me what are the prices of the books. Later someone comes to me, more likely a member of the haunt. Inside me I felt that “finally” moment but no, of course they didn’t come to make my life easier, but harder! They asked me to leave the haunt for the “known reasons” and for what I said earlier to the previous person. I replied that I just wanted those two books and I will leave for good. They leave and after 10 minutes they come back telling me that they will not repeat what they said and that my presence is uncomfortable. I, simply and loudly, asked a person to finally get me the books and leave once and for all. After all this madness that I experienced that evening I left and the comrade who was a witness, also left out of discontent. I told him that there no reason to miss out the event for my sake but he told me that the reason is not me but their sectarianism.
Thanks to the fact that the books were from the Black International, I did not expropriate them, because I didn’t get them from a bookstore (as they write in their introduction) but from a stand in a political space. I did not see you writing in your posters, in Kinimatorama 3 “MEMBERS OF NADIR ARE PROHIBITED”, but you would be more of a joke if you would do it. Sectarianism / dogmatism are poisons that kill individual judgement. Dogmatism / sectarianism are definitely negative elements for any anarchist person, and they fight against them for the sake of the free spirit, as they are means of manipulating the masses and the young do not know how they are being manipulated by the old and show no resistance at the moment, in the here and now. Take for example the schools in the history lessons where they create remnants of nationalism or generally religions that limit the power of the individual. Anarchy is not a political theory or ideology but a condition without rulers and ruled. With such behaviours anarchy is impossible to be realised. I do not hold any hatred against you because when you hate something, it means that it has conquered you, and you in the end do not limit me and it’s not worth exhausting my psyche for your sake. You are not, for example, the state that I maintain hatred against it because it sets limits. I showed my support why my actions but your behaviour raised a barrier to my solidarity. So do whatever you want! Blessed be the flame that will burn your sectarianism. Stay back there, to 2012 while I will look forward fighting the leviathan by any means, for as long as my strength allows, and for as long as the sun will keep rising.
Me, an iconoclast
Who introduces the chaos in his veins
With the life affirmed
And the pain resurrected
Rage and conscience,
Azrael
PS: People who pretend to like me and want the best for me by telling me that I made a mistake the day I stepped in Nadir, you better stay away from me because you stink of hypocrisy.